Dr. Bill | The Computer Curmudgeon
Join Dr. Bill as he examines the wild and wacky world of the web, computers, and all things geeky! Hot Tech Tips, Tech News, and Geek Culture are examined… with plenty of good humor as well!
OK… it was only a few years ago, but these “fads” on the web are just SO yesterday! Please, if you are still a webmaster, DON’T use these things… they are are just SO gauche!
Check them out… here’s a sample:
Portals, “Splash” and “Intro” Pages, “Communities”, Page Counters, Homepages, MIDI or WAV files and animated GIFs, Guestbooks and “E-Postcards”, WAP content, and oh yeah… “Awards” for your site. Dewd. Get wit’ the program!
I recently switched jobs. I was Webmaster for Guilford County, now I am back at the Center for Creative Leadership. While at the County, I got very used to coming in to my office, and doing my web updates while listening to various tech oriented podcasts. I had it down to where I was getting to hear one or two a day, and it allowed me to stay “up” on what is going on in the tech world while working on other things, because it could play in the background and let it be “background noise.”
When I came back to the Center, the first few days, I didn’t have my own PC, or even a “real” place to sit. But, it wasn’t too long before I found a way to do my job while listening to podcasts again. Boy! It was like being away from an old friend not to have my podcasts! Now, I am feeling better, more comfortable, and getting back “up to speed” on the fast breaking tech world! It is interesting how certain things help you feel “at ease” and “at home.” So… as I type this, I have a podcast running in the background. Sigh! Very nice!
Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark.
There is, apparently, only the one entry.
I have long thought that smoking was particularly stupid. Now it seems that the observation makes more sense than I realized.
Smoking and IQ
So, now my question is: “Which came first?” Does smoking make you dumb? Or, is it just that dumb people smoke? Kinda a “chicken and egg” question, huh?
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Dr. Bill Podcast – 5 – (10/08/05)
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My job change, “All Your Base…”, 20 Geek Jokes the Masses May Not Get, Dell’s New NC Plant, Put Firefox on Steroids!, Geek Software of the Week: Paint.NET, The Definition of Windows… more on fixing Windows next week!
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Dewd! If you use Firefox, ya gotta try this!
It makes Firefox FLY on the net. When you click on the link to install, you will have to allow the pop-up from the web-site, then click it again. Get out of Firefox, back in… and watch it FLY!
Dell’s new manufacturing plant was dedicated yesterday by Michael Dell and Gov. Easley. The new 750,000-square-foot facility–the company’s third and largest plant in the U.S.–will produce the company’s OptiPlex and Dimension desktop computer products for eastern parts of the nation. Way to go NC!
1) There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
2) If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
3) My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
4) Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you.
5) Microsoft: “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.”
6) I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
7) The box said, “Requires Windows 95 or better.” So I installed Linux.
8) In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
9) Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk.
10) You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.
11) Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
12) Linux, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly.
13) Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
14) How do I set a laser printer to stun?
15) Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.
16) People say that if you play Microsoft CD’s backwards, you hear satanic things, but that’s nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
17) Windows had detected you do not have a keyboard. Press “F9” to continue.
18) Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
19) SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0
– returned 0 results
20) There is no place like 127.0.0.1
This week’s Geek Software is “Paint.NET.” It is a class project from MIT that has continued since being developed in a .NET programming class. It is written in C#. The idea was to make a “better” Microsoft Paint. They added in layers, and it has grown to nearly (but not quite) Photoshop proportions! The nice thing is… unlike Photoshop, it is FREE!
You won’t regret checking it out!
Win·dows
Noun.
A thirty-two bit extension and graphical shell to a sixteen-bit patch to an eight-bit operating system originally coded for a four-bit microprocessor which was written by a two-bit company that can’t stand one bit of competition.
OK, sorry, I am feeling particularly “curmudgeon-ly” today.